“Oh my, you have a beautiful smile,” said the man who had just taken the seat opposite me in the train from Verona to Innsbruck. I didn’t know what to think of it, was he hitting on me? He was juvenile looking, yet end thirties, I guessed. But he had such a warm glance on his face, radiated such kindness, that I wasn’t really alarmed. He had made me feel quite good about myself, actually. Curious and cautious, I started a conversation with him.
He told me that he came from Slovenia and, as incredible as it sounded to me, that for a job he drove cars from one place to another. As we were speaking, he was on his way to Innsbruck to pick up a new car that he would drive to the client in Germany. This way he was travelling through all of Europe practically non-stop.
He was so enthusiastic about his travels that he insisted on showing me some of the beautiful places he had stayed along his way. Scrolling through the library on his phone, he said: “Look, here I was last week. And here the week before,” holding out the screen for me to see. He clearly picked the locations of his overnight stays very carefully–on the top of a mountain, by a river–in order to fully enjoy the most beautiful the world had to offer. His excitement was almost childlike.
But as he was telling me more and more, a sadness came over his face. He told me about his longing to have a family, that a relationship was impossible with the work he had. That he was torn between the life he loved so much and his dreams for the future. His honesty, his emotions were disarming. It made me feel both grateful and uncomfortable. I had known this man for only thirty minutes, and here he was trusting me with the story of his life.
But it also comforted me. My fellow passenger was expressing very gently what I chose not to share, moments of feeling lonely and lost in this world. His instant openness confirmed my intuition to stay cautious. At the same time, his doubt reminded me that I was not alone and his honesty made me feel a human being, together with the other members of my species.
I considered my best reaction to his story and his doubt, the best way to thank him for his trust. I decided that it would be to show him faith, to give him all the faith I had in me. And so, with a smile, I said that if he wanted a family, he would find a way and that he was going to be alright. As I said it, I felt my own doubt inside of me and also, how my neighbour had given me more faith in return.
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